Wednesday, July 9, 2008


It's a very hard thing at 21 to know what you're passionate about, or to know what passion even is. You would think after living for two decades, I would know the definition of that word, but I'm not sure I do. However, if I dig deep, I can tell you what I refuse to give up in my life. It's one thing that's been incredibly important to me for as long as I can remember. I lose it every now and then in the face of obstacles, but it always returns to me.

It's my idealism. You see, I have very high expectations from life and the world in general. I expect to obtain a job that I love through and through. I expect that when I die, I will have no regrets and will have lived my life as I wanted to. I expect to see the world and to read every book. Finally, I expect to make an impact on the world and to be remembered long after I go.

I truly believe these things can happen. I am deeply unsettled when I find myself settling. I will not do what will just do for right now. I have had many people tell me I am setting myself up for disappointment. Especially in the career field. If I have enough money or am creative enough, I will surely see much of the world. If I have enough late night reading sessions, I will surely read all the books I think are most important. But no one can tell how a career will turn out. I had a career counselor tell me most people are happy 60 per cent of the time in their career. That's not good enough for me. I demand at least 80 per cent happiness, if not 90. I do not expect my job to be a moneymaker for me, but a vehicle to help me accomplish what I want in this life.

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